Posts Tagged ‘animals’

So. Meat. I spend a fair amount of time thinking about meat. I mean, okay, I spend a lot of time thinking about food in general. But with meat, there really is a lot to think about. First of all, I have a lot of vegetarian friends (well, several vegetarian friends, but it seems like a lot). So I think about the ethics of meat. Especially because I consider myself an animal lover. I mean, can one be both a lover of animals AND a lover of consuming their delicious carcasses with a side of mashed potatoes??

(side note: although I am tempted to do an entire other entry on potatoes, they are generally less controversial than meat, and therefore the entiretly of my writing on that topic may be “Mmmm. Want.”)

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes: meat. So, I do often think about whether it is hypocritical of me to love animals, want good things for them, want to protect them from harm… and also, eat them.
I am not here to answer that question, nor am I here to defend my choices. Honestly, I just don’t think that would be a particularly interesting read. I mean, if there is a huge demand for it, I can always write a defense of my carnivorous habits another time, but I am warning you in advance: the word “delicious” is going to feature prominently.

Another controversy: I have been informed time and time again about how wasteful, or at least inefficient, eating meat is. I can’t argue that. I can say that I recycle, I don’t litter (in fact I often pick up others’ litter), and I try generally to NOT be a wasteful person. However, when it comes to eating meat, I fail at efficiency. And I do love efficiency. I just love meat more.

Another thing that must be said for meat… it is very exciting, or at least I think so. In fact, I get my kicks attempting to sample as many different kinds of meat as possible. Well, I like to try different foods from each sector of the Nutritional Pyramid, but this topic is broad enough as it is. I really do sometimes think that I would like to taste every animal in the world. It’s probably not a good idea though.
Some people are grossed out by this desire. Some are even offended. I get a lot of, “Well, would you eat this animal?? Well what about this one???” in increasingly accusatory tones. Inevitably, somebody brings up dolphins, and we all know how it turns out. At best, I wind up on the receiving end of a look that suggests that my morals are… let us say, questionable.
“Would you eat cat? Would you eat dog???” That’s a common question. Also a difficult one, especially because I have owned cats and am around a lot of dogs. But I can’t say that I definitely would NOT try it once if I was in some other country where eating dogs/cats was a common occurance.
I mean, maybe I wouldn’t be so driven to eat the entire cast of “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” if I got into extreme sports. Hear me out. We all want to experience all that life has to offer, and to try new and exciting things. For some people, this translates into surfing (I don’t have the balance), spelunking (I don’t have the endurance), snowboarding (I don’t have the coordination), and skydiving (OHMYLORDNO!). So, what is left for someone like me? Extreme-meat eating! Not that I will eschew the ever-faithful beef, pork, chicken, turkey, duck, lamb (as well as the usual seafood suspects). But when I want to break out of life’s tedium? When I want to have an adventure? Well, maybe I want to eat a cobra.
(side note: I was going to write “maybe I want to eat a snake,” but I realized that there are probably way too many immature asses reading this, and one immature ass writing it, so in the interest of finishing this think piece, I changed it)

I have not yet tried cobra, or any type of snake for that matter. I have tried alligator, but unfortunately due to the way it is generally prepared, have never been able to taste anything other than “fried.” Dammit, I want my alligator to taste alligator-y! Quail, venison, and elk have all registered as mediocre to my tastebuds, but again, it may have been the preparation. Rabbit tastes bland or delectable, depending on the exact dish. Ostrich has probably been my biggest disappoinment, but that’s my own fault for trying it for the first time at a damn diner! Next time I will consume ostrich at a more reputable dining establishment. Fuddrucker’s, here I come!!! Eating shark was, both times, a surprisingly delightful experience. I guess cold-blooded evil really IS scrumptious!!!
There may be others that I am forgetting, but you get the basic idea. Should I be experiencing life in some other way, one that is better for my aerobic and cardiovascular fitness, and perhaps a bit more environmentally conscious? Well, I am yet to be convinced. I plan to continue my culinary journey, sampling nature’s delicacies - the more exotic, the better!! Onward.